eRamblings

I find myself, almost two years later making similar changes that changed my entire life, but I think as before they are changes for the better. Not just baby steps in the right direction, but real moves to set me up for the life I want to live. The place I want to be in life, not just today, but many years in the future too.

My second job offered me a full time position today. They used to have a floor supervisor position which in the recent economy they hadn’t filled, but feel I would be a good fit. I haven’t accepted yet. We will retalk next week. I need to crunch some numbers and just make sure it is what I want.  But on all levels I feel like this company, this job is perfect for me.

It will make my outsides match my insides.

There was a day very recently that I left my first job completely upset - tired, headache, body sore and just truly wanting to go hide in bed to recoup, but I had to go to my second job that night. After ten minutes of being there, I completely forgot how awful my day had been before I got there. I was laughing and relaxed. Peace radiating from within.  The atmosphere at my second job is incredible. The people are wonderful, shockingly enough that includes the customers. I don’t even know what it is specifically that they do differently except that I am treated like a human being, not a robot who must work harder and faster at all times.

I am happy and peaceful right now. In all areas of my life, but one. My job. My first job is stressful and way too much at times. I deal because that is what I do. I am happy because that is who I am. But to replace that one last thing would make me that much happier.

Seems a bit unrealistic looking back to know that I have come so far and survived through so much.

Once again, I am changing where I live, what I do and solidifying who I am. For the first time in so many years, I finally feel like the real me. That bubbly, overall cheerful person who just adjusts to whatever because I don’t care what comes my way because I know it’s nothing to me. I will always overcome obstacles. Just the past decade it hasn’t been with as much gusto as I used to have. So much has happened. So many things I thought I had left behind, but really have been carrying the whole time. I have finally forgiven myself, those involved and the circumstances that became.

Now things just roll off. With very little effort or concern. Nothing can really defeat my happiness because it comes from within.

How very long and hard the road has been to allow me to see that again.

My happiness comes from within.

No one can make me feel anything. It is my choice.

No one can make me do anything. It is my choice.

I choose to be happy and at peace. I choose to be a good person, someone who is open to all people and possibilities.

Not to say I won’t have bad days because without them I can’t truly enjoy the good ones.  But it is breath of fresh air to have a multitude of incredible days.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 10:46 pm and is filed under About Me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.