eRamblings

I bought the Loreal HIP Pure Pigment Shadow Stick the other day. I have been thinking about pouring into the shimmer make-up world for quite some time now, but I am not a huge make-up fan so I linger. I usually do quite a bit of research when it comes to make-up before buying, then I take a risk, buy something and use it for a long time. Til my next adventurous product.

I have seen the eye shadows that come in the chap stick applicator. They rub on wet and shimmery like lip gloss. Unfortunately I can’t seem to find anything that resembles what I saw on tv ages ago. Apparently they haven’t done well or maybe I don’t shop in the expensive make-up stores. I don’t like a lot of muss or fuss when it comes to make-up either. If I can’t get my entire face done in less that five minutes - forget it. I use very little make-up — eyebrow gel, mascara, liquid eye liner, eyeshadow and cheek shadow. I am so not a lipstick girl. I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I have tried so many times. Not gonna happen. I wear glasses which means I tend to focus on my eyes so they stand out. I am also a fan of make-up that washes off with soap and water. I stopped using waterproof mascara ages ago simply because it never came off. I like my face to feel sparkly clean before I go to bed not gunky and oily.

Being a non waterproof make-up woman, I do have to be aware of not rubbing my eyes because I will end up with a black finger and slight raccoon look, but I am pretty happy with the results of what I use thus far. Last purchase I delved into the world of Almay simply because they offered two things of great necessity to me - a) hypoallergenic products - my skin, especially my eyes, are very sensitive and b) they provided pre-coordinated colors which means I don’t have to think. I have hazel eyes which is so cool because it provides me with more choices. I purchased the make-up for hazel eyes, brown eyes and green eyes. Their eye color kits come with three shades of eye shadow and matching mascara and liner. I have thus far stopped using the lightest shadow color in all the compacts. Just too light for me. And as I said above I really want something different, shimmery and more fun.

I did stop by my local make-up store and inquire which brands off this type liquid looking eye shadow. They suggested Urban Decay and Bujia. I felt like I could use the Urban Decay easily, but not one of their shades looked like me. Way too out there. Very, I’m a runway model - which I am not. And Bujia just didn’t seem to fit. SO I went looking another day with my mother. She has a good shopping sense. She can usually find something similar to what I want and under budget. And when it comes to make-up she likes to stick with the traditional companies.

Hence I bought Loreal HIP Pure Pigment Shadow Stick.

I am a little miffed that Loreal doesn’t provide instructions on how to use each of their products on their website. I realize this would be time consuming, but honestly from personal experience it would allow me to use their products correctly and therefore encourage customer loyalty. Hello, makes sense to me.

The HIP color I bought is Alluring #834. I wanted to purchase two similar colors for a varying effect, but I also wanted to just see if I liked it first. It doesn’t come with any applicators nor instructions other than apply wet or dry. Hmmm, that could go anywhere. Hey Loreal, don’t get too specific on me. I tried just rubbing the tip on my eye lids which works fine, but sucks when I have my contacts in. It does in fact get stuck a little to my eye lid. Not very comfortable. After swiping the stick across my lids a couple of times I use a brush to smooth it out. (and here’s where I cheat) After using my blush and brush I apply my blush across my cheeks and my lids. It gives a natural look. And yes, it’s easier.

I read a couple of things online (random youtube info) with comments like making sure to sharpen the HIP stick; put the entire HIP stick under water, shake then use or leave the clear plastic on when sharpening. If this is true, then why doesn’t it say that on the box? That would be helpful. Or is that general make-up knowledge?

My question is - have you used this product before and if so what do you think? How do you apply it?

IF NOT, what do you use? Is it the best thing you’ve ever had in your make-up bag?

P.S. I purchased the Garnier eye roll on because holy cow, I have bags. I have been using it for about two weeks and it seems to be working nicely, but if I put it on directly after washing my face then I have to wait for it to dry to put on lotion (and vice versa). Tricks anyone?? I am a HUGE Garnier fan (I only use their shampoo and conditioner). I have been thinking about buying some face lotion to help with shrinking my pores. (haha tmi?)

My mom called this morning to see if I wanted to go see a movie with her. I had already seen it, she knew, but she asked anyway. I thought that was so sweet. It was a good movie and I didn’t mind going to see it again. In all honesty, I love those stolen moments - going out for a quick lunch, stopping to shop a couple of stores, a quick movie. The times when it seems like the world is put on hold and there’s peace and happiness that envelopes us. We always seem to get along like we have no cares in the world. I love that.

In the end, she suggested we go to different movies together. Very sweet suggestion. We found out Taken was playing around the same time as Confessions of a Shopaholic. I would go to one and she would go to the other, then we would meet up and grab lunch. Sounded like a plan.

I told her about my new movie tradition. I go a little early to grab a cherry turnover, bottled water and take it into the movie. It only costs about $2 which is so much cheaper than popcorn (I am so not a popcorn fan, especially before noon).  It makes for a good treat added to the already treat of a movie. She was concerned about them telling her that she couldn’t take food into the theaters, but I told her I do it every weekend. No worries.

I remember when we were young, my mom would sneak PB&J sandwiches, grapes, chips (whatever) and she would take us to the $1 theaters (when they were really $1). Then I would take my niece to the theaters when she was maybe 2 or 3 years old. I would go on a Monday around 1pm. She would spend the first half of the movie running (literally) up and down the aisle. Since there was no one in the theater, I didn’t care. Then she would sit and watch the other half. I think my niece was less than a year old when we took her to her first movie - Dante’s Peak - she slept through most of the movie. (and yes we did take her out when she started to make noise)

Seriously, the movies have to be one of my favorite things to do.Taken was good. Incredible action. But I was confounded by the sadness of the back story. I won’t spoil it, but where they take these girls and what they do with them astonished me. I have led a pretty sheltered life - by choice I believe, subconsciously maybe, but nonetheless. The movie put a small fear in me that made me want to take a moment of silence and pray that no one had to deal with something like that. Just awful. And on a side note, Liam Neeson has the most incredible accent, doesn’t he?

We grabbed lunch and then wandered around some shops. It was a beautiful day. A reprieve of the cold, then hot weird weather we’ve had lately. It was also overcast which I personally enjoy. Gives a somber mood to the day. Not to mention there weren’t many people out and about, another nice change.

And since I am talking movies - my favorite movie of all time is Shining Through with Melanie Griffith and Michael Douglas. Saw it when I was younger and was instantly hooked.

Watching the Oscars. So far my vote for best dressed is —-Natalie Portman  

Because she is not wearing black, red, white or silver. Seriously people, there is a whole spectrum of color out there. Use it. But also because it is so feminine, soft and flowing. I would totally wear it. Since this is my blog, I can vote like that. Simple, but very elegant.

Miley Cirus gets the runner up. (although not for this face or wave) Her dress is by no means simple, but I like that it is different. I think it appeals to the little girl in me that wanted to wear those plastic heels.

I was laying in bed last night and out of nowhere tears started streaming down my face. I didn’t have a hysterical, all out sob fest. I didn’t convulse. I just had tears run down my face, as if the hose was turned on. It happened to me again today.

I just felt incredibly sad.

This week has been really hard on me. I didn’t realize just how much. I think the last three to six months, possibly last year have taken a toll.

I seperated from my husband in Feb of last year.

I started a new job in May.

I filed for divorce in October.

I got in a car accident the week before Thanksgiving where I broke my wrist and had to take a leave of absence. Wherein, I moved back in with my parents for six weeks so they could help me.

By New Year’s Eve (my third wedding anniversary) I knew I couldn’t go through with the divorce. I loved my husband and through all the crap we’ve been through I felt we would work it out. There is so much we have learned about ourselves, each other. Seriously we have really grown.

By the end of January, we filed the final divorce papers. It doesn’t really matter why or who decided what, just that it was over. This was the hardest decision I have ever dealt with. I never thought it would really happen. Not really. I thought we would always be together. In fact, (god knows how) I still feel like we will work things out. (how bizarre)

This week I went back to work. After three months of long, painful hand therapy which coincidentally won’t be over for at least another month. The soft tissue damage itself won’t go away for at least a year or more. I moved to a different position at work and was therefore sent to train. I don’t really care for my position.

Interviewed for another job I was really stoked for and thought it was a done deal. Wasn’t given the job. Wasn’t even offered the job.

The house I was completely in love with and saw myself living in for years (and years) sold to someone else.

I think I am tired. I really felt like the job and the house would be my big break; my way to finally have relief. It isn’t like my life is bad. I am very blessed; very lucky. But it feels like lately, for so long, every little tiny life thing has required all my effort. A constant struggle. Never letting up. Never giving me a rest.

I am just plain sad.

Tough week. Tough year.

I know I will get through this. All of it. I know something else will come along. I know I will heal and time will move on. I thank you for your kind comments.

It just sucks. That’s all.

I am not thrilled with my new position at work. Finally I get released to go back to work after 3 long months of therapy from a car accident and they offer me (optional, but not really) the position in market. They are letting tons of people go and it was kind of a take it or leave it type of thing. I took it. I was lucky, they could have just let me go as they are working out many of the other positions in the store. In fact, one of the girls in my old position (there were three) is now rumored to be on the way out because they want only a few select managers. Slim pickings. I have been training for two days.

The first day was awful. I was so cold from the freezers, tired from very little sleep and add to that my trainer is a drill sergent (that is what they call her). I struggled. Basically went home and cried that first day. My arm ached so bad, but it was just from use that hadn’t had so far.

The second day, was much better. I was rested and wearing about five layers of clothes. I felt more alive and things were processing in my brain. But it still doesn’t make me feel much better that the main reason I am in retail is because I love clothes. I don’t want to sound whiny, but I don’t want to work in the grocery dept.

Should I have spoken up? Maybe. But what would they say? What could they say?

I need my job. Yes, I have a great history with them; incredible results and work ethic. Probably the only reason I still have a job. Especially the reason they asked me to train in the new area - because I have shown results and this area has been struggling for awhile.

I can do the job. No question.

Do I want to do the job?

Before going back to work, I dropped my resume off at a couple of really awesome clothing stores that I love. Yesterday I went in for an interview and was basically told I wasn’t “Rodeo Drive” enough for them. It was a great interview (if you ask me). The Regional Manager was very receptive and we got along great. I gave the best answers of my life. But I didn’t have “the look” they wanted. First time in my life, I have been turned down for a job not because of my qualifications; my experience.  I was dressed for the interview, but the places I previously worked at didn’t have the names/labels they wanted. Sadly, the job description mirrored my experience and I know without a doubt I could do that job. I fit that job like a glove, but heaven forbid they tell the people above what store I came from. GASP! The horror. It’s funny. When I was graduating college, Dillard’s offered me a position as a buyer. I didn’t take it to pursue another area of retail and now I can’t get into haute couture.

I was greatly disappointed to say the least.

Then I get home and there’s a call from our family realtor. Oh, yeah babe - my house sold - to someone else.

Icing on the cake.

There went my dream job and my dream house. All in one day. All in a few hours.

Don’t ever quit -

loving with every part of your being

learning all there is to know

It’s what defines me. Every thing I do, I do with all my heart. I have tried to half ass things, but it is not in me. I come by it honestly. It is called passion. (some may refer to it as obsessive or crazy) It’s not. It is being so passionate about life that I would give my own life to experience it to the fullest.

Life is about living.

It has taken almost 30 years to figure out that life is simply about experiencing life. Sucking it up and devouring it. Forget about making plans. Whatever happens is going to happen. Worrying over it won’t make it better. It just makes it harder.

Be in the moment.

Close out all other thoughts and experience each and every morsel as it if were your last. It is an amazing feeling to be in the moment. It feels like waking up to a beautiful, clear sky and feeling the breeze on my arms, the sun in my face and the glow from within. Tomorrow is for tomorrow.

My past is what makes me who I am today. It tells me how I got here. No regrets.

And if all that fails, put on one of my favorite CDs or songs and turn it up til I can feel it in my bones. Sing til it awakens the need to breathe life. Music always works.

visit blogher for other wonderful prophetic “letter to my heart” posts

I was released to go back to work this week courtesy of my surgeon. At first I could barely speak I was so excited, then he mentioned the dreaded kill joy -

“Be careful. Some employers will fire you if they feel you can’t do your job.”

Which I suppose is a fair warning, but what the hell?!? Isn’t he supposed to be on my side?

Now I have been a big bundle of nerves. No I don’t have the full mobility back in my hand and wrist yet. Yes I am still going to hand therapy and will for months. It may take up to a year or more to get the full capacity back and for the soft tissue pain to go away. I am still only lifting a few pounds with my right hand and writing can be difficult.

But I can do it. I am sure of it.

But there is that little nagging fear of what if I can’t?

I am no longer a what if girl. I got rid of that annoying little troll last year. I will no longer ask what if because it won’t make things better, just makes me worry.

It’s funny because the surgeon also said usually peole are begging him not to send then back to work. Funny, it didn’t cross my mind. I am not saying it never did, but I like working. I get this ego boost from doing a good job and accomplishing things. I have a purpose in life, a mission. I like that.

Am I going to miss having nothing to do? I imagine I will on those days I hate life - when I am tired and just want to stay in bed, but realistically I don’t think that will happen too often to be sorry I went back to work.

Another bonus, the house I am totally in love with just went down in price almost $50,000. Holy cow!! So excited. I need to go back to work so I can verify my funds if I am going to buy a house. And this house, is so dreamy.

I went over to a friend’s house today. She opens the door and from her side peeks her daughter - with gunk in her hair and a plastic baggie tied around her hair like an old fashioned scarf. Odd I think, but we keep doing the social thing of hellos and how do you dos. As I step into the house I notice it smells strongly of Pine Sol or something similar and the place is absolutely spotless. Finally she gets down to the nitty gritty.

Her daughter has lice. Or nits she’s not sure.

And within milliseconds I am having a panic attack. The walls close in. I find myself stepping away from her daughter as if she has the plague - and I love this little girl. But bugs! BUGS PEOPLE!!!

I have serious bug issues.

In my head, I relay the memory that just five days ago this kid laid on my bed (where I sleep every night) and stayed there for quite some time watching a movie. The same bed I have been sleeping on for  the last five nights. Then I think about my couch that she sat on. And my cats that live in that infested place I have called home.

Immediately I want to rescue the kitties and fire bomb the place. Safer and so much easier to move.

B.U.G.S.

OMG!

I think of all the people I have come in contact with in the last couple of days and the places I have so effortlessly rested my own head.

I can feel them crawling.

In my head.

Under my skin.

I find myself scratching the life out of my skin as I stand there, trying to act normal and continue conversing, but I am unable to breathe.

When I was younger (in college maybe?) I was living with my parents. For some reason I can’t remember, we pulled a foam mattress out of the garage and placed it on my bed. Within a week I was feeling odd. I had these weird bumps on my skin especially on my hands and fingers. Go to the doctor and he tells me I have mites. BUGS UNDER MY SKIN! Bugs living, growing and reproducing under my own flesh. Bugs MOVING in the same shell I reside in.

I am surprised they did not commit me right then and there. Instead they gave me cream and sent me home. I don’t know how I survived that time of infestation. But I have never forgotten it either.

Herein lies a huge part of my psyche for which I NEVER EVER put blankets, mattresses, comforters or any such material outside. If it does go out, it is not coming back in. EVER!

Yes, I am crazy about a few things, but I swear I have good reason.

My girl friend told me not to worry that the likelihood of the little girl having lice a week ago was slim; that they noticed it yesterday and that only the one out of three kids had it. I made conversation for a little while longer than jumped to the door where that poor contaminated little girl stood waiting for her always happening bear hug from me. I couldn’t do it. God help me. I love that little girl, but I could not do it. So I told her we would exchange air kisses, I squeezed her hand and raced out the door.

I am such a whimp. Even I am aware of this.

But I simply could not get ahold of myself. My fear had me gripped. So badly in fact, I went straight to my parent’s place and made them search my own head of hair. I was informed that I did not in fact have any such bugs. It took me hours to calm down, but each time I even think about it I want to convulse.  I have of course, washed my sheets in hot water. I am hoping the mind altering scratching will go away in a few days.

Oh man my head has the bugs — not the kind that live outside my mind.

I woke up this morning, walked into the kitchen, picked up the coffee carafe to fill with water only to stop dead in my tracks - my sink was cleaned out. There was nothing in it. Yesterday, I had a sink full of dishes. Granted they were cleaned off, but not run through the dishwasher yet because I haven’t unloaded the dishwasher. But there was a sink full of dishes.

As I am standing there in my pjs, my eyes still trying to focus, I vaguely remember doing dishes all myself right before bed. This was sometime after I had already decided I was too tired to stay up any longer and wanted to go to bed. In essence, I did the dishes in my sleep. What a great concept.

I have to admit my least favorite activity is doing dishes. They are there all the time. No matter how many dishes you do, it is less than hours later there is another one. Per person. The more people, the more dishes. Constant up keep. I hate it. Not to mention the kitchen is probably one of the most lived in areas of the house. It always looks cluttered or messy. Horrible.

My favorite way to conquer this hating dishes, is to do them right before bed so that when I wake up the kitchen is spotless and makes me very happy. Occasionally though, I stumble out of bed before my brain has woken and stun myself because the kitchen is clean. As I did this morning. I really had a moment of panic that my dishes were gone. (then again who panics about dishes being done?)

Cleaning the kitchen before going to bed works for me - at least a few nights a week.

Visit Rocks in my Dryer for other fantabulous tips!

Tuesday resting in this tiny kitten condo that has been laying around for years. I don’t know why I keep it. Honestly I only use it for a stepping stool when putting screws in the wall. Rarely ever see the cats even stop to sniff it. Then yesterday, Tues crawls right inside the thing and takes a nap. She is not small- a 13lb British Shorthair. Completely confounding the way she can contort her way into small spaces.

For reference size I also took this pic, holding a dollar bill up to the opening.

And because I feel guilty for not showing a photo of Izabel too -

Here is Izabel’s “Watch out, I’m gonna mess with you” face. Her eyes are so big and her body wants to play which means she will do whatever she has to do distract me or tick me off to get my attention. In this photo though, her victim is Tues.

I know I have read this somewhere before quite a long time ago, but since it happens to be in the book I am currently reading - that is my source -

 Once upon a time in a land far away,

a beautiful, independent , self-assured princess

happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues

on the shores of an unpolluted pond

in the verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess’s lap and said:

 Sweet lady, I was once a handsome prince,

until an evil witch cast a spell on me.

One kiss from you, however,

and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am.

Then, my sweet, we can marry

and set up house in yon castle

where you can prepare my meals;

clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, dining on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs’ legs,

The princess chuckled to herself and thought:

I don’t fucking think so.