eRamblings

At work we have this really long set of brick stairs. They are really incredible looking. Beautiful really.

And dangerous.

For klutz like me.

All day, I watch our servers run up and down these stairs with four, five full plates of food. With grace, they run up and down.

I, on the other hand, can slip with my first step out of the kitchen.

Needless to say, I am careful. At all times. I do my best to really plant my feet before putting weight on it. It can take me a bit to get down that flight of brick stairs with only my one plate of food.

Two days ago, I slipped. Somehow. I still don’t know how. I slipped and went down. Plate of food and all.

I was lucky really. I only have a few bumps and bruises on my elbows. But I have to say, my lower back is pretty sore. And has been for two days. It just feels like someone has punched it mercilessly right about my butt directly across from my hips. So when I sit down it aches. When I lay down it takes about five minutes for me to really relax enough for it to relax because I know it hurts to have the muscles rest on a flat surface. It feels like a set of interlocking pieces where each set has to settle after the next and it hurts the whole way.

I am doing my best to not over stretch and to not under move. It’s really not so bad. Not as bad as it could have been. I am lucky to have gotten out unscathed.

My boss said, well at least you’ll be able to rest for your next two days off.

I just laughed.

Because really, when do I ever just relax?

Yesterday, we were incredibly busy and I was surprised to find that at least two of the people shopping were “one of those people.” If you’ve never worked in retail, I’m not sure you would know what I mean. I was so annoyed I decided to post on it.

“One of those people” -

defined -

How can people be so oblivious that when we are packed wall to wall with customers that they proceed to ask if we can steam a shirt for them?

And then they get upset when we ask them to come back so we have time to steam it!

Or the customers who want my full attention for hours when it is clear we are busy? I love to help and give awesome service, but I can’t possibly give one person my undivided attention for a long period of time. Or make an appointment. Sorry you are going to have to share me.

We are currently doing inventory and it has been so smooth, minus one customer. (which is really, really good) She called to have an item transferred from a store outside the state to ours because she didn’t want to pay shipping. Okay, a) if we have to ship it no matter where it’s going there is a shipping fee and b) we don’t transfer, we ship direct to customers. She argued til she was blue in the face. Then called back to ask for a manager. (this is where I come in)  She explained the entire situation, I put her on hold to get her paperwork and ask the sales associate about it, then got back on the phone and told her no, we don’t transfer, but I’d be happy to help her with her charge send. She argued with me once, and after telling her no, she agreed to a charge send and the shipping fee. (it’s usually not this easy)

Most days, people do not get to me. I love what I do and I love working with people. But every once in awhile I get that one person that just doesn’t seem to want to understand that there are rules and I’m sorry, but if I won’t break them for my other millions of customers WHY WOULD I BREAK THEM FOR YOU? These are the “exception to the rule” people. I hate them. I do. I despise their expectations. I despise their tone of voice and I absolutely cannot deal with them without struggling to control my voice and what I say. It takes all the control I have. And then some.

These are the people who walk in five minutes before we close, we tell them to take their time, but we do close in five minutes and then they proceed to stay for hours. HOURS!! WTF!! And I cannot kick them out. I won’t do it, until I get the opportunity in conversation to casually mention we closed forty-five minutes ago. Inevitably this always happens on a Friday or Saturday night, when my employees have plans. It kills me. But heaven forbid, I tell them we open tomorrow at 10am and they call corporate saying I was rude to them. It’s just not something I am willing to allow happen. So I smile and try to be patient.

These are the people who find something wrong with every piece of clothing and want a discount on each and every one of them, then return them after they have worn and washed them.

These are the people who return over $500 worth of merchandise and expect cash back when seriously, who really thinks any register has that much in cash at any given time. It’s just not realistic or safe. And do we really have to explain to every customer, each and every one of our return policies as they purchase? Again, unrealistic.

These are the people who leave diapers FULL of (insert gross here) in the dressing rooms.

These are the people who return an item without a receipt (which means we have no idea how much you paid, when you paid or how you paid) and get upset because we can’t just put it on one of their cards.

These are the people who return shoes they’ve worn for months (and yes, we can tell) and then return them saying they are too big, too small, stretching out (hello, you’re wearing them), uncomfortable, etc. BS!! If you wear the shoes more than in your home for a bit, you cannot return them.

These are the people who traipse their dog through the store and do not consider the health violation or the fact that they do not have to clean up the dog hair and such that gets transferred to the clothing. Or worse, when that dog has to go to the bathroom. And did you really just ask me for water for your dog? Seriously people, leave your dog at home.

These are the people who do not consider the costs of their actions. They think it’s free. Not that it comes out of someone’s pocket. And in the end, usually increased taxes. Your taxes.  It always costs something, whether you pay it or not. Just because a store doesn’t charge you, doesn’t mean they didn’t pay for it themselves.

And I am done.

Getting down off my soap box.

For now . . .

One of the perks of being a manager at my new job is that every manager gets a free meal each shift from the local restaurant. And let me tell you, this is not any typical restaurant. It’s a top notch, nice restaurant. The food not only tastes wonderful, but smells incredible. They offer all sorts of goodies like fish tacos, shrimp salads, steak quesadillas, bbq pulled pork sandwiches. Oh man is this food good.

Currently, I am in training for my manager position and so I am “shadowing” another manager each shift. Which means we order our meals together and take our breaks together. This is good because I haven’t really had the pleasure of actually eating with someone where I can talk and have a friendly non-work conversation. It’s nice because I get to know the people I am working with, though I also don’t get to read my book for that time either.

I digress.

When we go to order our food, I do not have the menu memorized as all the other managers do - they have been there for quite some time which is a huge statement for a company if you ask me. So not only do I want to know what the special is, but I want to look through the menu.  It’s also very cool to consult the local bar tender about what they prefer. In essence, I drive them a bit mad and yet I have a feeling they enjoy watching me devour the menu trying to decide. I think sometimes when you get comfortable you forget what it’s like to find something wildly new and exciting. So though I drive them nuts, I know they find it voyeuristic too.

I’ve been doing this with everything too.

I get a mailbox

I get email

I get keys

I get secret pass codes not only to the store, but the safe and other cool stuff

And I am sorry if this is just a job to people, but I have finally found my dream job and fucking love every second of it. For the first time in my life, it doesn’t feel like work.

I am just so stinking excited every day.

I’m guessing this is the kind of “energy” they feel I bring to the table.

I am sure there will come a day where I don’t always want to order off the menu, but for now, I’m gonna enjoy every bit of it. Especially the part where I take half my meal home with me. I would be surprised if I ever really had to go food shopping again.

We needed bags out at the registers and even though I knew the backroom guys would be back after lunch, I felt I could just take care of it. I went in back and seeing as there weren’t any shopping bags out on the shelf, I would have to find the box they were in and bring them down. Once I located the box up on the top shelf I set about getting a ladder.

In front of the shelves of boxes are these rolling shelves where we keep the clothes. They roll back and forth with about three feet in between when stationary.

I pushed the shelves back so I could maneuver the ladder in between. I placed it so that it was directly center to the box I needed leaving little to no room on the sides in hopes that I would be more set in my heels. I am a bit of a klutz, y’know.

I worked my way up the ladder, but as I got closer to the box I realized it was bigger than I first thought. Knowing I would have a tough time getting it down, I decided to open the box and toss down some bags. Kind of a quick fix. But the moment I opened the box the entire contents started to slide out onto my head. I was able to quickly push the bags back in the box and close the lids, but not enough to reafix the tape.

Here I am about six feet up a ladder, using all my force to keep a box from landsliding down on me and therefore taking me down the ladder with it. For about the longest five minutes of my life I stood there balancing myself and the product trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament when in walks one of the male managers.

He’s a gruff guy. The kind of guy that wants you to think he’s pushy and rude, but really he isn’t. Just an exterior thing.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I was trying to get bags down, but failed miserably. I am now stuck up here because the box will take me down with it.”

“Okay, well try to slide the box down to me.”

He squeezes in next to the ladder. His face around my knees. I hoist the box down and he grabs it, then tells me to shimmy down the ladder. We are basically wedged in this small space next to each other. As I reach the bottom of the ladder and am face to face with him, he turns and looks directly at me, gets this big grin on his face and says -

Well, this is an HR moment.

And we both start cracking up laughing.

It has become the joke amongst us managers.

Dear dear shoppers I have been in retail for over a decade and thought I throw out a few pieces of things that I have come across that may affect the way you shop.

• If you are mean you will not get help. In fact it will only make my personality come out like I do not care. Because if you are mean, I do not care
• If you are nice, I will do everything in my power to help you
• If you approach me with the statement I realize you don’t do this, but - IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. If you’ve ever worked in retail you are so aware of all the people who think they are the exception to the rule and you know that this is one of the things at the top of the list of things you will not do.
•  I cannot get the CEO on the phone. I am just one of the little people and will gladly take suggestions, but YELLING at me is kind of pointless. FILL OUT A COMMENT CARD it will go straight to corporate.
• Telling me “I can’t believe you don’t know where such and such is” even though we have a billion products is completely unrealistic.
• Telling me “I can’t believe you don’t carry such and such” is stupid because if you truly wanted to go to a store that has everything on the planet try searching google.
• Knocking on the door before or after we open will not get me to open for you. We have posted hours - use them.
• If you don’t have a receipt we do not know how you paid, how much you paid or when you paid and though you are all honest people out there (snort) I cannot take your word and give you cash back or put it back on the card you supposedly paid with.
• All food is charged back whether you just carried it around in your cart for an hour (imagine a gallon of milk) or brought it back because it is the wrong size, color, weight, etc. No we cannot donate it because there are weird mother f*&%$s who do creepy things to food. Don’t put food in your cart unless you really, really want it.
• It is so incredibly helpful if you hand a cashier, guest service person or just simply a clerk working any unwanted items rather than shoving them on the closest shelf. Imagine you are at home, would you just shove whatever on any shelf? Would you want friends and family to shove odd ball items on your shelves?
• Do not yell at me when I offer to help you and you don’t need it because when you do and I don’t offer - well that’s gonna piss you off more.
• Register etiquette - it is a must in order to keep my job to ask if you want a credit card. Get over it. Say no politely and move on.
• If you spill something, or your kid spills something, tell someone because the next person that walks by will inevitable slip and sue and that’s just a big pain in the ass. Remember it could be you that walks into that spill.
• If a worker gives you really great service TELL SOMEONE or fill out of comment card. Good people are a bit hard to come by and we usually only get the negative comments.
• Do you really think I (or anyone else for that matter) is going to tell you, if and when a certain product will be going on sale or clearance? Yes I do know that and no I won’t be telling you. Sorry.  You do realize I could lose my job for that.
• I understand people who want to look at furniture, before buying and taking it home, to see if there are any scratches, but when you are buying a $50 piece and then ask me to open four or five different boxes - WAKE UP - it’s a $50 piece of furniture, what did you expect?
• Those of you who return dead plants that you killed; the planting soil, the pot and all - uhm, I don’t know what to say to you, but really? Returning a plant? Why don’t you just return the food you didn’t eat which spoiled in your fridge.
• I am all about price matching and helping our customers, but when you read a sign wrong, well, you read the sign wrong and just because you read the sign wrong does not mean you get that price. Get over it. I do it too. But you read it wrong. Plain and simple.
• My least favorite comment and when I want to punch someone is when they say something to the effect of, “Oh, you don’t have it. Well I am just going to go to such and such to get it. They have it” Fabulous. Go to such and such. I don’t care, but standing there telling me like some two year old is really annoying.

The other day I woke up with a small headache and didn’t think much of it. With allergies being kind of crazy lately it isn’t something new for me. As I was getting ready for work I realized it really was a headache and so I took some aspirin, but an hour or so after I got to work it was a full blown migraine. I couldn’t see very well, my equilibrium was way off and I felt sick to my stomach among the other standard headache symptoms.  I went home and passed out for four hours, but when I woke up it was still there in the back of my head.  I got up and ate some food then slept again for about eight hours, but even then it was still there. It finally seemed to lessen when I officially woke up the next morning almost twenty hours later. I couldn’t believe it.

The migraine had come on so fast and it had stayed with me longer than I remember ever having one.

Now days later, I still feel as if I have a headache just lingering. I am concerned that it could turn into a migraine at any moment, but have been really light on the medication.

I am guessing if it isn’t allergy it could very well be a bit of stress. I have been feeling a strain with all that is going on in my life right now which is completely ironic because it is all good stuff, but I think the change alone has me miffed.

In about ten days I will be moving into my new apartment - finally for all the people asking if I have moved yet. I unofficially accepted an offer at my second job for full time employment I am just waiting for the offer in writing to give my two weeks at my first job.

Though these don’t seem like much to me they are huge, so many factors and so many possibilities of different outcomes. Mix that with the fact that I have been working sixty hour weeks and I am a bit overwhelmed. (and just a bit of a tid bit - I started keeping a toothbrush at Raindrop’s house last week)

I will have three days to pack all my stuff and one day to move it then a day to unpack and a day to clean the old place. I am pretty sure it is more than enough time to do it, but I keep wondering if I have enough boxes, if I will pack well enough, will I have enough people to make it easy, what about all the heavy items - and the worries just go on.

And as far as the new job go, with my apartment stretching my budget a bit I am trying not to focus on the fact that I hope I am good enough to keep my job. A friend of our family just signed on a new house and she has just lost her job. Holy cow, does that frighten me. Not to  mention just being new at a place gives me the willies. Not that I am not used to it being that we often moved while a I was a child.

It’s just this change thing.

I like change, just not at first. At first I fight it. I try to ignore it. Then one day I wake up and it is the norm and all is well. I know this. But it doesn’t seem to be making it easier.

Yesterday, as I was leaving for work I stepped outside and was hit with the gust of cold air. Immediately goose bumps ran up my arms and a chill snaked its way through my back and a grinchish grin covered my face. YES! I thought. It’s finally coming. No more tired heat. Winter is on the way. With it beautiful chilly weather, sweaters, camping and all the other glorious happenings.

This morning I am laying here with my patio door wide open, cool air streaming in. Both kitties are out on the patio enjoying the weather too and, I am sure, the fact that the door is open and they can come in at their own will.

This week I was offered a position at a high end retail establishment. Part time, of course. Which is great for me because it helps me get one step closer to my dream apartment - the two bedroom, ginormous kitchen apartment with amenities up the wazoo. The job, I think, will be great. The people there are way friendly and the customers are the type that come in and just want you to pick stuff out for them, converse with them and typically money is no object. For me, this is usually fun like shopping with friends. I am good at letting the easy friendliness come out and just flitter around discussing topics while tossing clothes their way. I am also stoked to be working somewhere I can wear real clothes, not a uniform. I’m talking heels, skirts and whatever else I want. I am lucky because they offered me way more than I wrote down on the application. I am pretty sure that doesn’t happen often.

My full time job this week I am basically glad the week is over. My boss has been riding my ass and I can’t seem to figure out why. I do a damn good job, but for some reason he has decided to be nitpicky. And I gotta say, we are stretched as far as we are gonna go. With our skeletal employees, limited resources and more work as the holiday season approaches, it doesn’t seem like the best idea to me to run your people into the ground. But I am doing my best to ignore it and just continue doing my job.

Today at work it was another consecutive day of stress. Not enough people, I keep thinking, but my boss has asked me to come to him with three solutions that don’t involve needing more people even though he is awesome enough to admit that may very well be the problem.

I was at the customer service desk helping push people through the really long line.This woman with three kids pulls up with a cart full of bagged merchandise.

W - I just purchased this dress and she charged me too much. It is supposed to be $14.99 but she charged me $24.99.

Now before I continue let me tell you my thought process here which explains (hopefully) my reasoning for proceeding this way. First of all, she had a dress that did not have any tags on it whatsoever. Second, she had a dress with tags on it from the sales floor.  Third, the numbers on the receipt did not match the numbers on the dress (there are codes in the neck tag if the price tag itself is gone).

Me -  Would you mind if I took a quick peek through your bags just to make sure the dress is the correct one because the numbers don’t match?

W - Immediately burst into tears and very loudly proclaims, “Are you accusing me of stealing?” And continues to repeat this phrase in many different wordings, but the entire time huge tears are streaming down her face. Her kids are also aware of the mom’s situation of being upset.

Me - I am not accusing you of stealing. I am just making sure that you get the correct items because again the numbers do not match.

W - Continues with her ramblings cries while loading her bags on the register counter.

Me - I am starting to cringe while racking my brain to figure out what to do. Finally, I give in and decide it just isn’t worth it. “Ma’am I am just going to exchange these dress, Okay? Bear with me here a minute.” I enter in the numbers. “Ma’am $9.16 will go back on your card. That is the difference between the two dresses.”

W - Do you have to put it back on my card? I got this gift card I would rather use.

Me - Uhm, sure. I mean I had gone this far off our policy, why the hell not?! I do the exchange and as she is walking away I realize she hasn’t so much as gushed a tear droplet since I gave in. Then I am baffled. Did I just get swindled? Truly possible.

Now don’t get me wrong. I feel for this woman. I honestly wanted to apologize and hug her. Her tears looked and felt real. And quite frankly, they described perfectly how I felt that day too. I truly believe that she was telling the truth, but I also believe that I was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

For the rest of the day many of my co-workers continued to ask me if I had made anyone else cry.

Not one of my favorite days.

At work we have a sign that says, “Please put in time off requests before (insert two weeks ahead) by (insert date of two weeks before time off request).”

For example: Say I want to take a vacation February 14-17. I would need to have my time off request in by February 1st.

I heard today from a coworker that it can take up to two weeks to have time off approved. That is - if they approve it at all.

Uhm, what?

Am I missing something?

I swing by the current manager on duty’s desk and so casually say, “Hey just a quick question. I put in my time off request recently and followed the instructions on the sign. (which I am kind enough to point to - just in case) But I just heard it may take 2 weeks to be approved. Pause for response.

She nods and says that could be. What were you asking for. A week of paid vacation. (Seriously, who knew this was even an option? They pay me to go and take a vacation. If I had known about this I would have signed up a long time ago.)

I guess I thought it was easy. Don’t they just put in my schedule as vacation, as they would normal working schedule? (hind sight, this probably sounded ass-holic, but whatever)

Well, it isn’t hard. We do just enter it into the computer, but the big boss has to sign off on it.

Hmm, okay well thanks.

Dumbing it down for me - In order to have time off, I must put the request in two weeks in advance, then wait two weeks to be approved, then maybe actually plan a vacation - for the next day.

Uhm, still don’t get it.

Assumption: Work does not want time off to be had for employees. Or maybe just not make it easy. And oh, forget it if I want to take time off with a friend that happens to work with me. Two people off at the same time, CRISIS.

I will brief you on what happens after I have the conversation with the boss to see if (and when) my time off is approved. And you know I will be having that conversation.

update

They are not approving time off right now. Uhm that would have been nice to know months ago. But that’s just me.

Today was a long ass day. Started work at 5am and didn’t leave until almost 4pm.

I actually clocked out at 2:30pm, but as I was walking out one the supervisors asked me to clock back in because we were having a meeting. Uhm, okay. I informed them that I was already one hour overtime which is a big no no at work. They said I could cut from the rest of the week. Okay. Again with the “we really don’t recommend that you do that” crap, but whatever. You’re the boss.

Personally I would rather work four ten hour days. Even just every Monday I wouldn’t mind working a good fourteen hour day. It is my favorite day of the week. Yes, you heard me right. I love Mondays. That is the one day I get to get down and dirty in my work areas. I walk through and make a list of all the things that need to get done during the week - folding, sizing, colorizing, signing, etc. I get to rearrange all the clothes (which I love) and put them wherever I want. I get to crack out a million projects (which I love) like working tables, sizing the clearance, putting up signs, pulling clothes from back stock (which means I get to work the really cool machines in back), and all other stuff I can’t remember right now. I get to do some serious damage to the crap that gets thrown upon my different work areas. When I walk out on Mondays I not only feel like I worked really hard, but I can actually see a big difference. It is very liberating. Especially when the rest of the week I pretty much just work like a dog.

Tuesdays are a little less exciting. I pretty much walk in to see all the things that happen in less than eight hours. The eight hours after I leave. The group of people who mark down all the clothes have usually gone through and moved it all around to the wrong location. And though they are kind enough to pull all the merchandise that wasn’t on sale, but in the sale area they just throw it into a cart for me to sort through. The people who unload the trucks and put out the new clothes generally shove it all on the shelves in a manner so unbecoming no matter how many times I work with them and tell them where to put product. The people who closed the night before and were supposed to put every thing back in the correct place, didn’t and I get to fix it all. I also hit the back stock again, just to fill in where things got remerchandised into clearance. I am also one of the managers that night so I am in charge of half the store for the night.

Thursdays I tie up loose ends and read through the coming weekend ad that goes out in every Sunday paper. You know all those little signs that say Sale $9.99? I get those in my mailbox, put them in the clear sign holders, check them off some massive list and then stack them in the office. At least the ones for my area and those of my peers who happened to go on vacation that week. When I work Saturday night, we take down all the signs from the weeks ad and on Sunday morning we put up all the new ones. Kind of a pain, but also really cool to see the process happen.

Fridays I pretty much tie up the things that didn’t get done during the week on my weekly list. This is also the day I venture out of my work areas and help my peers. This is good because I get to add each of them to my “you owe me help” list. Which I rarely collect on, but I feel is a needed benefit. It also looks good to my bosses.

Amidst all of this I am also back up cashiering, helping push product that was sold and pulled from the back to be filled, assisting the fitting room in breaks and whatever else is needed (supplies, etc), helping customers, assisting the group of people who set up some of the areas planned that I don’t work on, but are in my areas, training other people, answering phone calls and a hog podge of other stuff.

I am in charge of the entire women’s clothing area, work out clothes, sleepwear, bras and underwear and the jewerly and accessories area. All of which has to be perfectly sized, colorized and stylized each day. It has to be signed and labeled appropriately. New stuff has to be placed in the right area and processed through the computers. Old stuff has to be remerchandised to clearance. There are at least six different types of hangers and some even has bags of stuff (which let me tell you how many people have to open up a package just to see that the picture on the outside really is what is inside even if the packaging is clear). I love the customers who take clothes off the hangers then throw it on top of the rack or the ones that drag a handful to the mirror then leave it there or the ones that drop stuff on the floor and leave it. Seriously, I don’t expect people to fold clothes and whatnot, but have a little respect for the blue collared worker.

It is kind of crazy and yet there is an order to it all.

This morning within an hour of work I had pinched my finger in a shelf, bled from a nasty cardboard cut, smacked my head on a shelf and dropped a metal bar on my ankle. Granted I am definitely a clutz, but this was a very dangerous morning. I also had to pull 10 shelves down using a 10 foot ladder and the entire time I was picturing myself falling down, landing on the concrete. All I could think was I hope they bring the ambulance staff in the back because I don’t want anyone to laugh at me for being so stupid as to fall off the ladder.

And then this song was playing in my head later. But I changed one word from world to work. I used to be one of those woman who wanted to do it all simply because I never wanted to be accused of being weak, but today I really wanted to say “This is a man’s work” because I was hefting these huge, heavy shelves from a shelf way up high, down a tall ladder and then arranging them in slots on a wall only to unload boxes of folded shirts on them. By the end (three of these tables), I was exhausted. Now I have reached a stage in my life where I have no problem standing back and letting the muscles do all the work. I know I could do it if I wanted, but screw that. I am perfectly comfortable letting others handle the really heavy shit. You could not pay me enough to do that every day and we have a position that does that, unfortunately it isn’t filled right now which means I am doing it until then.

And now after visiting all my favorite blogs I have been up for over 18 hours today. Time to go to bed or at least try. Seriously loving that I get to sleep in tomorrow. LOVE IT!